Work of the devil

I have mentioned in the profile, to the right of the postings, that I consider zips to be the work of the devil.

I am first and foremost a buttons man, but only if they are a certain minimum diameter and attached to a cardigan; if I encounter them under other circumstances my reaction verges on the phobic. Such, it would appear, is the curse of a fetish, approximations won't do. How many times have I had to take a stout piece of 4x2 and strike a potential partner about the head before throwing them down the stairs screaming after them, "call that a cardigan?". Well, as it happens, never. Neither do I possess a piece of 4x2 to hit anyone with. But be warned, turn up with a zip if you've promised a cardigan and I shall be ever so cross.

I have spoken to people for whom zips do the trick, in fact are interchangeable in their minds with buttons. I must admit I simply don't get it. Don't misunderstand me, some of my best friends like zips and they have my sympathy, for they will perforce lead sad and lonely lives, seeking out the few others with whom they can share their interests. I am sure society will eventually be able to accommodate them and they will be able to show themselves in public. Perhaps one day they will be able to parade openly and proudly through our city centres, or is it just cruel of me to raise their expectations? Really, as long as they wear proper button-up cardigans in public which of us can truly bear them any ill feeling?

To illustrate this particular posting I have found a garment whose constitution frankly disgusts me. It combines buttons and a zip and, if I'm not mistaken, pop fasteners on the pockets. This item is clearly the outcome of the miscegenous coupling of...well, what exactly? I shudder to think; some sort of ghastly three-way in the back of the wardrobe. How I wish I'd been there with a piece of 4x2 to prevent it. Alas, dear reader, I was not. And this is the result.

If you want to buy one they're available at

http://www.espyclothing.com/mens-knitwear.php

about two thirds down the page.

Anyway, thanks for reading, I’m off to the local timber merchant...catch you soon!