It was really only a matter of time before I came round to the subject of nipples. I am unashamedly a tit man, I have a prominent and sensitive pair myself and I appreciate the same on another man. The whole cardigan thing probably arises from some notion of convenience of access and the excellent view offered through some materials when distended by a party in the tits department.
You don't see many men with prominent nipples, they exist in a small proportion of men and a number of those are in denial and may even seek a surgical solution to what many of us would consider an asset.
Fortunately there are men willing to show off, albeit bereft of the obvious joys of the gentleman's cardigan. For example
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UG7O5dJT9DU&feature=related
And just for a laugh
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0-HFeeLJ9I
Although I'd pay good money to get mine to do that!
While you don't see many men with prominent nipples you see even fewer with what, when they're found on women, the straight boys call "puffies" (see the lower picture in my illustration below). I knew a man with a prominent pair of such nipples some time ago. He was also afflicted with the sort of sensitivity that made them, to use his expression, "go off" at the slightest provocation.
It will seem judgemental, but I have to concede that those occasions when his nipples did "go off" were a source of some discomfort to me. I just don't like the sight of these, seeing them induces the gag reflex (a reflex which has long since ceased to respond to anything pushed down my throat). I mentioned surgery earlier on, I'd be happy to see the NHS spending my tax money to help this person or anyone similarly afflicted. I'll not use your name, but if you're reading this and recognise yourself, do yourself a favour; a doctor, a bit of local aneasthetic, a swift flick of the scalpel and a couple of stitches should make you more than acceptable in polite company. .
I’ll get back to cardigans next time, I just had to get that off my chest. And that top photograph, photoshop or what?
Back in the day, aboard the pirate ship Cardigan, cap'n Fisheye wouldn't have tolerated any of this nonsense. He'd have had the man brought on deck before the assembled crew. Roger the cabin boy would have been given the job of rubbing the offending nipples with raw meat, stimulating and flavouring in one go.The crew would mutter as the cold meat produced a tumescence in the man's nipples that they all knew would be his last, many would reminisce about their responsiveness and sensitivity. The captain's pet rottweiler, "ooh arr, 'e be proper nasty today, cap'n", would then have been encouraged to chew them off.
With a ferocious growl, saliva dripping from it's canines, the dog leapt forward and gripped the man's left nipple in it's jaw. The dog's head swung vigorously and rapidly from side to side, its grip on the now bloodied nipple never tiring. Left, right, left, splattering blood and saliva to either side, the dog was relentless until finally it fell back, the now detached nipple in it's mouth. It didn't stay there long, two chews and down it went, soon it would be poop on the poop deck.
The right nipple had lost none of its tumescence during the onslaught on it's partner, it was as protuberant as ever it had been in many a seedy backroom ashore. The dog had lost none of its blood lust, it was attacking again as soon as it had swallowed. This one held out for nearly a minute before the dog fell back as the tasty morsel finally parted company with the man's chest. Having swallowed, the dog was led off and the man taken down to the ship's surgeon to be cleaned up. Roger the cabin boy threw up over the side of the ship.
In the insanitary conditions found below decks the mans wounds were unlikely to heal. If the wounds failed to show signs of healing or became infected, the ship's surgeon would have him thrown overboard.
I read somewhere that to be a writer one should write something every day; I doubt if the author had anything like the above in mind when offering that advice.
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