Planet Cardigan

As a special bank holiday treat I'll offer my readers a little biographical story. It all happened thirty years ago so what the hell, real names and locations and exaggeration where it makes the narrative more interesting. It must be remembered too, that aspects of this story are highly condensed; for instance, went to the pub and met a man really means went to various pubs night after fucking night and eventually met someone who wasn't a rapacious sex monster, or just generally barking mad. No way did I strike paydirt at the first thrust of the spade.

It was the early eighties, I was fairly new in London, young and besotted with cardigans and gagging for man-action. There was a gay scene to explore, though I was never fully confident out there. It was just before the AIDS crisis really kicked in (though I do remember being scrupulously careful, so it must have kicked in to some extent).

I had plucked up enough courage to get myself into town wearing one of my small but perfectly formed collection of cards. It was to the Salisbury, near Trafalgar square that I took myself one Friday night. A glittering and piss elegant watering hole that was by then getting a bit mixed. I think now few will remember it as a gay pub at all. Having got mildly socially lubricated, I fell into conversation with an American. His name was Matt and he was a couple of years older than me. He worked for an American bank in the city (this was pre big bang, so a job like that registered as boring rather than glamorous and lucrative). Anyway, one thing led to another and at closing time we were on the bus back to my place.

He didn't look a bit like this.

Once there he did the best thing imaginable and helped himself to the card buttons by way of getting me nekkid. That certainly got me going and various sex-type activities ensued. Thus it was that I learned about circumcised men; his being American and of an age where it was pretty much inevitable that boy babies were cut. As I discovered later, on closer inspection, he was cut tight; when he got hard, he could barely open his eyes.

It was a learning experience for me, the pace and rhythm of reaching an orgasm for him were very different to what I was used to. Progress was relentless, much more vigorous than I'd been used to. There seemed to be no notion of sitting back and enjoying the view... and then, suddenly, orgasm, ready or not. It just happened, not without warning but definitely without the option of pausing once the warning signs were evident. Having started progress, the orgasm just ran its course. There seemed to be no controls to modulate or extend it. Interesting, different and even if seen as a detriment to good sex (and they certainly weren't) these characteristics were well complemented by the sheer size of his magnificent organ. In short a huge dick with a hair trigger.

No interest in the cardigan once it was off, sadly.

Come morning I tried to compensate for this by putting on a different card while I went to make tea. My hopes that he'd notice and inquire came to naught, alas.

Tea consumed, it was time for round two and thinking in for a penny, I told him I wanted to keep the card on because it turned me on. He acquiesced and I got a good seeing to wearing a cardigan, from a huge man who reached thundering and frantic orgasm and leaving me thinking I might never walk quite the way I once did. In short absolute bliss.

He got me one of these.

We saw one another quite a lot for what seemed like quite a while. We got close enough for me to tell him about my special interest. He was understanding and really quite coöperative, wearing one himself on occasion to excite me. The best thing he did, though was get his sister to find and send over a letter cardigan which really did the trick if either of us wore it. I always wore a card when we were out together.

As with all these things, we drifted apart. He's probably fabulously rich by now, but what do I care, he left me with a taste for huge circumcised dicks and letter cardigans. You really can't put a price on that.

I got a taste for these, among other things.